This month I turn 35. I'm not afraid of you mid-thirties.
Okay, maybe just a little.
I lean on the"happy" side of getting older. It is mostly because of how I feel about myself. If I could go back in time and give myself advice, it would be, "embrace who you are." It's okay if nobody else "gets you" or you constantly feel like a black sheep. There is a reason you are who you are. And it is a BEAUTIFUL reason.
I would also tell myself that straight irons were going to revolutionize our life. Can I get a "Yeeeahhhh!!" from all the curly haired girls???
Okay, so maybe I get spray tans to mask my neon- paleness, and perhaps I use foundation to cover up my ever-pink facial hue. Yes, I do grace the gym with my presence 3x week to get toned arms and my hair has been every color found in nature. And a few not found in nature.
I'm not saying you can't improve some things about yourself if you want. But be sure you are doing it for the right reasons. Not because of fear or pressure from someone else. Do it for yourself. That is the only way it will stick.
Stop comparing yourself. Seriously. Stop.
My severe lack of gracefulness will never lead me to be a ballerina. And my genetics and propensity to eat cake has kept me from being a supermodel. But those dancing slippers look WAY uncomfortable and who wants to date Leonardo DiCaprio anyway?
My 17 year old self would be shocked to hear me say that last sentence (well...the DiCaprio part anyway).
But here is my point. Find beauty in who you are. Don't hide who you are to the world because you are afraid of rejection.
I refuse to now talk about a certain Disney movie with an Ice Queen. I am in my 30's and get life philosophy from kid movies?? Really?!
Think about it this way, there is a reason that story resonated in so many hearts. The embrace of self acceptance. And finding beauty in yourself. Most importantly, those 2 elements being the key to unlock the problems in your life.
I'm not saying this will solve all your problems. But maybe, you will approach life, problems and relationships differently.
Meet me. The Queen of Random: I like werewolves. And vampires. Not the sissy, girly kind of vampires. The darker kinds. I like motor cross and monster truck rallys. I love to read Jane Austin novels, cry and sigh when the couple gets together. But I can't stand most romantic comedies. gag. I like having long, deep conversations and wearing pants. Dresses are beautiful to look at, but wearing them is a different story. In fact, if you see me in a dress it is either because I feel socially obligated or The Professor has specifically asked.
I have learned to love this crazy person (and believe me, this is only the TIP of the random-iceberg). And find beauty in what she loves. I find this amazing. And what I find more amazing is that I found someone that loves this crazy person with me. The Professor loves me. And I don't hold anything about myself back from him.
So the question enters my mind... Is it easier for someone else to see the beauty in you AFTER you have seen it in yourself?
But honestly, if NO ONE else sees it in you... that's is okay! See it in yourself. It's there. I promise.